when everything is going wrong and the person who you want to talk to the most won’t reply to your messages
okay so I’ve lost 6.6lbs in… 5 days I think… is that normal, or even vaguely acceptable?
it’s been nearly two weeks, where is the better that everyone promised. still hurts just as much as it did the day it happened, still feel like I am going to have a breakdown at all seconds. still feel like I have been torn in two… only difference is I’ve learnt how to hid it and put on a mask, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up.
so your boyfriend who you undoubtedly love tells you he loves you for the first time, then says that you are the only girl he has ever loved, that he has known he has had serious feelings about you since not long after you got together. Then he suggests you should consider just being friends, because you’re going abroad and he doesn’t want you to get hurt if you’re alone in a different country when you break up.
all of this happens over text and phone, and you feel as if you have been torn in to a million pieces and stabbed in the heart, he tells you to talk to people, not to bottle it up, but you can’t because nobody cares. everyone cares about themselves. the only person you have, who you’ve always had, was him, you need comfort
so you ask him to help, to chat about anything but the break up, to distract you, it works for a while, but the cracks start to show and you can’t hide the hurt and then 5 days later he turns round and says you need to stop talking so you can get over each other. you still haven’t seen him, you still haven’t had a goodbye.
what do you do now? How do you cope when the only spark of light in a previously dark world. the person that brought you back from the brink of an eating disorder. how can you cope when that person is gone? or is there just no solution to this?